bitter sweet

Saying goodbyes are always hard to do. But this time is one of the hardest. The opportunity only came once, that's what I regretted. But, something has to be decided and some other thing has to be sacrificed for other good things to come.

2011 has just started but so many events has happened and many thing I have learned about being a man about something, accepting facts and even accepting when you lost something. It is kinda hard because I have a feeling that Im letting go one of my dreams. But at the same time, I feel some sorta relieved for I have made myself free from the doubt I have been living in. Doubt that makes the issue is the doubt of will it or will it not be something worth of the time you wasted.... I have to say this, wasted. And the doubt of what if it is not something for you. Because sometimes, a dream is just to be kept as a dream . So when you try to make it real, it turned out to be something else.

Sooo...the story is Im no longer holding my position, my coolest position ever.

Ok, why am I making such a big issue out of it? Because....Im at the stage of analyzing what should I really do for a living. Actually, I want to do something that I really have passion in it so that the passion can be breed into....money. I want to do something BIG,remarkable. I want to explore what have God gave me and I want to use it as good as I can and make it into a career. Yes, a career that I enjoy and really love. But, doing this is so not easy. The background you have, the fear of what others might say, the fear of taking risks and whatsoever.

Despite all of these bablings, I know myself really well that Im not a quitter, I never give up before trying. Thanks to my stuborness. And "Just because Im losing, doesn't mean Im lost". At least I have tried my best. I swear I have tried my best and I will treasure the knowledge and bestest experience I have ever gained :)